Synopsis: Abandoned by Martin, Duy embarks on a desperate search for love and validation, venturing into darker places than he could ever imagine.
This short was shot as a proof of concept, for the feature film, which bears the same title, SummerWinterSummer. The feature delves deeper into the recurring cycle of trauma and heartache faced by a gay Vietnamese American artist in his pursuit of love.
In the feature, Duy, wrestling with the weight of parental expectations, moves to Los Angeles to explore his sexuality and pursue a career in art. His exciting new journey takes an unexpected turn upon meeting Martin, a gifted musician who lures Duy with charm and mystique. Their budding romance abruptly ends when Martin vanishes, leaving Duy with profound emptiness and introspection. Determined to fill the void, Duy goes on a desperate search for love, disregarding the consequences.
“SWS ORIGIN” — DIRECTOR’S STATEMENT
“No Asians…Chinks need not apply..” For as long as I have lived openly as a gay man, the racial rejection in the LGBTQ dating scene has been harsh, prevalent, and eye-opening. It reached a point where I began to self-loath. A defining moment was when a stranger vehemently defended his “No Asians” profile headline on Grindr as “free speech” and a matter of “personal preference.” He callously suggested that I leave the US if I disagreed. Stifled, I found myself strangulated by my own inability to riposte. I froze and became numb, just as how I typically deal with father’s verbal abuse.
Growing up, “Du ma thang khon (wretched fuck)!” was how my father often called upon me. My father and mother, resilient survivors of the Vietnam War, endured 5 years of re-education camp before escaping a war-ravaged country in the late 90s to find refuge in the US. To survive, they simply trekked on, carrying with them the pain and ghosts of everyone and everything lost. The harsh reality of their journey left them with no time or resources to process the trauma they faced. My father, easily provoked, succumbs to bouts of blind rage that tear into me, reducing my sense of self to utter worthlessness. In response, I instinctively shrink into a defenseless toddler, shutting down both mentally and emotionally. The exchange with the stranger left me profoundly unsettled, realizing that, despite the passage of years, I am not the rational, strong adult I thought I had become.
Immigrating to the US from Vietnam at 10, I was terrified of talking, as speaking commonly resulted in classmates mocking my broken English. What stung even deeper and exacerbated my sense of alienation was the fact that it was often my fellow American-born Vietnamese classmates who ridiculed my "FOB accent.” As I began to explore my sexuality after high school, I started to shoulder a deeper form of shame and rejection. Stereotyped as a “submissive bottom” unfamiliar with Western culture, I was often preemptively rejected before given a chance to greet. I spent the vast majority of my 20s and 30s fighting off the immutable feeling of worthlessness, while trying to find a place where I felt I belonged.
I draw upon my biographical experiences in SummerWinterSummer (SWS ) to digest what I had internalized over the years. In the process, I recognized that change doesn't occur spontaneously; I must be the catalyst for the transformation I aspire to see. The journey of bringing SWS to the screen has been arduous but also rewarding, as it has initiated an imperative process of personal healing, one that demands letting go of my father's disposition to find my inner peace. My vision for SWS is to offer insight to those facing similar struggles, while igniting meaningful conversations and contribute to greater acceptance of LGBTQ Asian Americans.